Friday, April 12, 2013

Bridal Pleasures

I'm moving to the United States of America to be with Michael, so I will be needing a visa. Without being married to your partner you can´t get a visa. Here in the Netherlands you have the registered partnership thing, and that counts as a marriage for all paperwork and administration purposes. Not for the States though, so in short, we're going to have to get married sometime this year. 

This might seem like a big deal to some people, but for me it really isn't. From my teenager years onwards, I have always been resistant against marriage. In my view it was a way to "claim" the other person. To possessively own them and show the world they are yours. Using it as a way to cement your relationship. I could just imagine the people thinking "if we marry, it's harder for her/him to get away from me!". In my opinion that is an entirely wrong reason to marry. If you truly love each other, you don't need the institute of marriage to happily spend your lives together.

I do NOT

As I got a little older my strong opinion eroded into mild dislike. I still didn't care for marriage, but if my partner insisted on it I wouldn't make an issue of it. By now I could accept that some people seriously thought it was the ultimate gesture of love. Not that I agreed, but I could sort of empathise.

One reason I could accept as valid to marry was for practical reasons. And of course, marrying so the American government recognises Michael and me as a couple and thus being able to live together, is very practical. This is the reason why we are getting married this year. But like I said, the marrying itself means little to me. We are not going to have a ceremony, it will be pretty much a signing of a contract. Wedding parties are fun, but to be honest I rather save the money/not go into debt.

However, I am disappointed that I won't be having a wedding dress. Now don't you think that because I was anti-marriage that I didn't dream about wedding dresses. I have always adored them. They are so beautiful and I would love to be like one of the Disney princesses.
A snow white wedding dress! I love it

To make up for the lack of a real wedding, my sister and I went to a wedding store where they put me in make-up, did my hair, ate lemon wedding cake and put on lots of wedding dresses (this was a paid for package deal). Secretly I vowed that if I did find my perfect dress I would buy it anyway  but I have a very particular dress in mind. So I did not have any real hope of encountering it. And I didn't.

It was a great experience though. I kind of felt like a bride, and seeing myself in a beautiful dress with a deceivingly amazing figure and beautiful hair made me feel so good! I'm not going to upload the bridal dresses pictures, but here is a picture of me with 20's style hair. It looked so nice I'm sure I'm going to wear my hair like that when we marry.

The make-up is a little heavy for my taste, but it still looks pretty. In the end I have to admit that I'm a little bummed out we won't be having an actual wedding. The dress, the people, the om noms (but mainly the dress) can make it into a fantastic day. But because I don't agree with the principals of marriage it seems a little hypocrite to celebrate it. Then add to it that I still not care enough to justify spending all that money on it. But... a girl can dream can't she?

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