Sunday, September 1, 2013

A low quality wrap

I had been pondering it for a while actually. If you never experiment with it, how will you know if you can do it? Ofcourse it seemed ridiculous, I was actually laughing at myself before I had even made the attempt. But what if you have a talent, but never managed to discover it. Your whole life you would be thinking you were average, good at nothing, while there was this gleaming pearl hidden inside of you waiting to be discovered. These thoughts cross my mind often, together with the "what if we have superpowers" thoughts.
However, even if this one thing would be a thing I'd excel at, it would be problematic. And did I really want to disappoint myself by trying something I knew was silly? Probably weeks passed while I tossed the idea back and forth in my head. Thinking how well it worked for Amy from Karmin. Why not for me. 

I've always been someone who acts on an idea, instead of letting it sit and wither away. So I would act. I would try. I would rap.

The song would be vital. That could make or break my determination and assessment of my skill. It should be something easy and a rap that didn't go too fast. Preferably a song I actually liked, because I'm not a fan of actual rap. It just sounds terrible to me. In fact, I don't like rapping at all. But the decision has been made, and will be stuck to.

Keeping my experiment a secret, I made the decision alone. It was to be Gold Dust from DJ Fresh. While cycling it popped up a couple of times on my mp3 player and it had a nice beat to it. The one rapping was a woman, or at least sounded like one and didn't go too fast for me to be able to keep up.

On a night that I had to myself, I sat myself down in front of my laptop and found a good YouTube video with lyrics to the song. Listening to it twice, I had a grasp on the lyrics and the rhythm of the song. I would refrain from doing the singing parts and focus only on the rap.Right before the first rap verse I would pause, reread the lyrics, unpause, and launched myself in what was my very first rap attempt. I stumbled over the words and made up them up in places where I got confused, but I doggedly continued. Not one to give up I restarted the song and dived into it again. About 4 replays later I felt I could rap it without tripping over my tongue too much.

It went well and sounded good to me. I excitedly double clicked the voice recorder of Windows. Would I be a small white girl rap wonder? Was this to be my moment? 


That is the only way how I could describe my rap result. I sounded like a little angel harmonically rapping. And it was WRONG. So very wrong on so many levels. Like having Captain Jean-Luc Picard wielding a lightsaber while riding a unicorn fighting off Magneto or imagining Snooki as a virgin. 

It was too strange to hear such a girly angel like voice trying to rap a song that's supposed to sound cool and edgy. I was at that moment, the uncoolest kid in town. If I'd been in highschool I would have been bullied forever.

There was no shame though, I was laughing my ass off. I thought it was absolutely hilarious. Michael HAD to hear this. The next day I told him about my failed attempt and that I wanted him to experience it. Because words can't describe Doni rapping. It's a real treat. Ofcourse he told me he reserved the right to turn off the video or cut me off if the rap turned out to be too embarrassing for him to witness. Trying not to laugh myself to bits while rapping I gave Michael a short one verse rap, as to not tax his poor state of mind. 

He politely agreed I did not have the right voice for rapping. That it did sound quite a bit too angelic. You, dear sir, are far too kind. Sjalien too, was very subtle when I showed off my amazing rap skills. "Perhaps you should stick to singing". Perhaps I will Sjalien, perhaps I will!

This is only funny for people who have played Diablo 3! All others, scram, you won't get it! 

Then we started to play Diablo3. We had played for a good 30 minutes when we entered a cave, and I suddenly saw Michael's character running back out the cave. I asked him what he was doing, but he didn't answer.
One minute later he came back in the cave and typed; Tonight you gave me a Low Quality Wrap.

Get it? A low quality wrap? It's FUNNY!

He actually saw the item lying on the floor, flashed back to my poor rap performance 30 minutes before, thought of this brilliant and funny joke, ran back to get it and pasted it to me. There was the Michael I know! I was perhaps slightly insulted at the moment, but for days after I have laughed at his joke. So much laughing that I decided I had to dedicate a blog update to it to honour it.

Nothing is better than to laugh at yourself.

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