Thursday, December 26, 2013

It's the season

Merry Christmas everyone!

I hope everyone had a very nice Christmas. Mine was not fantastic but averagely acceptable. The older I get, the less I start to care about Christmas. It's mainly a whole lot of stress for no particular reason. The decorations are nice though.

Tomorrow is my last day at the store! I'm very excited about it, as it is one more step closer moving to the USA. It will give me a lot more free time to get things done. My excitableness level isn't where it should be. Worries and doom scenarios are roaming through my mind. But with every important journey and decision I go through this. It's simply my natural inclination to only think of the worst things that can happen. Thankfully I've learned to ignore the black thoughts trying to change my mind. Examples of when I go through the same thing; switching high schools (this was an EXCELLENT decision), first driving lesson (a necessary evil that I am glad I went through), visiting Michael for the first time, all airplane flights, standing my ground on a principal matter when everyone else tries to change my mind (seriously, that is a hard thing to do, peer pressure is a bitch), going on a euro train trip with my best friend and leaving New Zealand to go home.

In all occasions I was worried and doubtful, but I am glad I went through with all of them. And this is how it will be this time. I know this in my head, but the rest is worrying me to no end! It is all part of it, how can someone move to another country without being scared?

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Everybody is busy


me riding my bicycle
It's been quite a few days since my last post, but even I can't blame myself. The holiday season is coming and December is a busy busy month. Shopping for gifts, trying to spend time with friends and family and still working my 2 jobs. Someone asked me what I do in my free time, and right now, it's sleeping. I take a lot of naps, to try and cope with my irregular working hours. As long as I sleep enough, I feel okay. There were 3-4 days in a row where I was short on my sleep, and you could immediately tell . Grumpy, distant, less effective and I felt stressed and a little panicked about everything I still have to do.

But now that I made sure I am rested again, the world is more manageable. I promised myself I wouldn't add on to the holiday stress by trying to accomplish things I need to do for my emigration. So far I succeeded in this, but it's tempting. When you work much, you need to be very careful to keep a healthy balance. It's easy to get overstrained/overworked if you don't pay attention, and when that happens you lose more time to recovery than (in my case) I would have gained being emigration productive.

Michael and I are hardly seeing each other these days. Both being very busy at work and life and having our schedules clash makes for an almost skypeless week. It's not as bad as it sounds, because we know that soon enough I'll be in Florida and it won't be a problem. But I do miss talking things over with Michael. All my mundane decisions in life now go without his advice!

Working so much has reaped it's benefits. My savings account is where I want it to be, and since I'll work a little longer in January than I anticipated, my savings will even be a little higher than expected! I need to buy a car as soon as possible once I arrive in Gainesville. My laptop is at least - if not more - 3 years old and I expect its demise any day now. So I have money set aside for that. And just those 2 things will already cost me like 4000 dollars! And then of course I want to have a little extra money to buy my own things, like some house decorations, kitchen machines and clothing.

In these days I have went to the hotel Christmas party, disco bingo night, and I won a delicious pie, but my amazing high heels broke off :(

I have gotten free tickets to the Christmas circus, and I will be going with my brother and his son (my nephew) and my sister.

 My mother and her boyfriend will be going on their holiday in Leuven. That's a weekend I won at work for having made a good "exam" for this course day we had to follow. Since I don't have Michael here, I gave it to them to enjoy.

My horsebackriding days in the Netherlands will be over soon. Coming Monday is the last day I will ride! And my second last RPG day in Amsterdam was last week, and the very last one will be the 9th.

A beautiful night in Amsterdam

That is all.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Visualisation of the dream

My ticket has been booked. The date is 25th of January! I told my hotel work that I'd be leaving. The contract was until the 9th, and I was planning to be completely off afterwards. However, they said they would like me to work until the 20th and thus offer me a second contract of 11 days. Which is kind of funny. I agreed to it, but I will tell them I want to work a maximum of 3 days a week. A girl's gotta have time to say goodbye to all her friends and family!

But now I'm still in working mode. I manage to trim a day off per week, so instead of 50h a week I'm closer to the 40h a week. Which makes a ton of difference to be honest. That extra time in a week is golden.

I thought I would have issues with "selling" my stuff, but I looked around and I concluded I don't have that much. Most of what I have is worthless junk. The famed bamboo stick went to the friend I bought the sticks with. My prized chest will go to my best friend, who enjoys the same style of furniture as I do. The clock of my grandma I will take with me.

Funny story, I actually acquired an extra item. I have gotten a painting from Michael as my early Christmas gifts (and awesome earrings!). I found this cheap but qualitative store in The Hague with real paintings and big too. They had sick discounts. After the true love of our lives was sold before we bought it, we settled for my second favourite one, and Michael's third favourite one.

What I love about it, is that it symbolizes the dream. My dream to journey, to go to beautiful places and find that perfect location to get a lovely cottage/cabin/home. The more I look at it the more it draws you in. I can't wait to unwrap it and hang it up when I get HOME.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

It's official

My passport has come in the mail together with a scary sealed envelope. It has big letters on it which say DO NOT OPEN. Very tempting, but that package needs to be given to the guy at the airport who let's me in. Better I control myself and not open it.

Now it's time to book my airplane ticket. I'm thinking I'll book it the 25th of January. I would prefer the 18th, but in this case I figure it's better to take a little extra time to make sure I have everything taken care of. I won't be back for quite a while, so all the paperwork, cancellations and address changes need to be perfect. And not the least important, I need to say goodbye to my friends and family. Now the emigration is a close reality everyone around me is telling me they don't really want to see me go. Noone believed this would actually happen. I was always fully honest and up front with the proceedings, but I suppose they thought it would go wrong somewhere. Michael and I got into a fight over the flying date. I prefer a week later and he accused me of constantly putting it off. The worry he has I understand, but to be honest I find it more important to leave with good closure, than to keep my boyfriend happy with a week early.

A stressful time is coming for me. I don't see myself as a material girl, but I hate to throw my stuff away. I have now started project "Find my belongings a good home". The bamboo fighting stick I was talking about in one of my earliest writings will go to my old friend Roy. We initially bought them together, so I figured now (10 years later) he might want the set! And he did! One lovely awesome item has found a good home.

Then the chest I wrote about in the same article has found it's way to my best friend Jessica! She generally likes the same oldish medieval taste in furniture so she'll take good care of it.
Obviously getting rid of my stuff has the lowest priority. When I looked up a check list for emigrations I made my own to-do list and boy is it long. It's good I made a list, it makes it a bit more manageable.

My acquaintances ask me about my plans. Am I lazy for not wanting to repeat the same story over and over again? It's driving me a little crazy.

Yes America.
No not Orlando, about 3-4 hours drive North of there.
Nope no work yet, will take a couple of months.
Yes, I will marry him yes.
No, not a big deal.
Yeah it's scary.
Yes I have a home.
I've been there, it's fine.
He's a court analyst, yeah he earns well enough for now.
Oh how interesting that you and everyone else has been to Florida for holiday or wants to go, please do tell me more.

Oh well, just 1.5 months and I can tell the story in reverse!